It goes without saying that life truly does change after you have kids. I mean, within seconds of the Doctors placing that beautiful baby in your arms, things and feelings within you start to change. The Mommy instincts immediately kick in; but over-time what has been the most interesting for me to see are the hilarious quirks and oh-so-small things that I have noticed having a baby has changed in my daily life. Here are a few of the silly things that have changed since I have been a Mommy:
1. Darn baby hairs. WHAT IN THE WORLD?! I NEVER had to deal with these pesky little baby hairs. And of course, the worst are right up on my front hairline and are constantly sticking straight up, or sticking to my forehead. I can't hide them at all. I, as a hairstylist, knew that after having many clients with children, that after giving birth a majority of women lose a bunch of hair. It was something that terrified me. About three months went by after I gave birth to Jace and I had not lost any hair, it was still thick and beautiful, and I was thrilled. And then it began. The clumps of hair that came out every time I showered was a nightmare. I didn't even know I had that much hair to lose! Eventually it stopped after about 1-2 months, and now I guess these baby hairs are partly from new growth, but also partly because Jace absolutely loves to pull my hair out. Now I know why they call them baby hairs, not because they are tiny hairs, but because babies do this to you.
2. Why are you swaying like that? When I was pregnant with Jace it seemed as though 'swaying' just sort of became auto-programmed into my body. Babies love movement, so once I had Jace I just always sway, bounce, and rock back and forth whenever I am holding him. But, before I knew it, I found myself swaying back and forth even when I'm not not holding him. I catch myself swaying as I do my hair, my make-up, cook, and even when I am watching someone else hold Jace. Just a few days ago I went to a Gymboree play class and noticed that EVERY single Mom in there did the EXACT SAME THING! It was so silly to watch. It felt so nice to know that I am not alone.
3. Inhale Thy Food. Being the wife of a Police Officer, I was used to eating FAST. I mean, REALLY FAST. All those times of meeting my husband for his lunch break and "not knowing if we was going to have to get up and run out the door to a call or not so you better hurry up and eat your dang food so you're not sitting there alone and feeling awkard" did not prepare me for how fast you have to eat when you have a child. I mean, half the time I don't even TASTE my food. If someone video-taped me eating I know I would be thoroughly embarrassed and probably resemble honey-boo-boo. It is pretty impressive and like to give myself a big pat on the back for how I can fit an entire granola bar in my mouth in one bite while cooking Jace an egg and cutting a strawberry at the same time. I forget when Matt is home and we are about to actually sit down at the dinner table and eat, and I stand at the kitchen counter literally eating my food while he is sitting at the table looking at me and says, "Um, honey.. would you like to sit down and eat your food?" Well yes, honey I would but I'm already done! BEAT THAT!
4. Farewell to strapless dresses. Let's just say that this Momma quickly learned that strapless dresses are not appropriate to wear when holding a child. Because children love to pull, and when they pull your dress down and they get a reaction out of you, especially one where you FREAK OUT, they laugh and like to do it over, and over, and over again. So, you can just move those strapless dresses to the back of your closet because you won't be wearing those for a while.
5. Shoes. It's not JUST shoes that Jace likes to get into, but for some reason my son seems to have a slight shoe obsession. He is a shoe-licker for sure. I can put my shoes way up high, in a drawer, in the closet, it doesn't matter.. he is a determined little turd, and (IN A LIAM NEESON TAKEN VOICE) 'He will find them.. And he will lick them'. I mean, we have two dogs, and we NEVER had to worry about leaving our shoes or anything around, because they are apparently more normal than our son and never licked or gnawed on our shoes. But, leave it to sons, they will. So, I am overly cautious of where I leave my shoes now.
6. Bathroom buddies. Girls, you know all those times you and your girlfriends liked to go to the bathroom together, and just hated to go alone? Well, I wish I could go back in time, and go to the bathroom alone all those times. I never realized before how peaceful it is to sit down on the toilet and pee in peace for a few seconds. If I want a few moments alone in the bathroom, I have to distract Jace, dart for the bathroom as fast as I can, and by the time I have my pants down and my butt hits the seat I hear the pitter-patter of his little hands hitting the bathroom tile. Ah, the sound is so sweet, and I love his sweet smirk when he sees me using the potty, but take my word for it-women with no babies yet- enjoy your quiet, peaceful bathroom breaks while you can.
7. Handprints. Oh, how I love those tiny, messy, smudy, handprints that I find all over my house. You can be OCD and appreciate these sweet messes. My husband and I both are very much clean freaks. When we bought our furniture for our home we were definitely not thinking "Oh, this would be great for kids" because almost everything we have is fragile, and mirror-like, and not kid friendly. I cannot got to bed with a dirty house, so at the end of the night I go around and wipe everything down. Ever since Jace has been mobile I find his handprints on everything, and I actually leave them on certain things instead of wiping them away because I think it is just absolutely precious. I love seeing his handprint on my kitchen cabinets, and my coffee table. It's silly that something so tiny can really warm your heart and make you so happy to be a parent.
8. Every room becomes a play room. Once again, the OCD/clean-freak thing.. Matt and I SWORE before we had Jace that our media room would NEVER become a play room. How selfish and dumb we were. This entire house became a play room.. and I LOVE IT! We clean up every single day and have certain toys that go in certain rooms, and bins for certain things, but we will never restrict our son from having toys in a certain room. It is part of having babies, and you just have to enjoy it all because I just know that we will blink and Jace, and our future child will be "too old for toys" and we will miss having all of them strung out everywhere.
9. Full-time helper. It is the sweetest thing ever to see this little person you made always right under you trying to help. He loves it when I have laundry to fold, he will sit in my lap, watch me fold something, crawl out of my lap, unfold it, and watch me fold it again. He makes the chores 10x longer and harder, but he truly thinks he is helping, and I can't even get mad because it is so cute. When I am cooking, he loves to play with the tupperware, spoons, pots, pans. When I am washing dishes, he loves to play with the dishwasher, and when I am vacuuming is the absolute cutest! Jace is literally OBSESSED with the vacuum cleaner. His face lights up when he sees me bring it out, which is almost daily. He follows it, tries to push it, chases it from room to room. I'm sure that one day he is going to pretty much hate me for making him clean up after himself and help out around the house, so I will take all of this in while I can.
10. Our Netflix is broken. You will quickly find that your Netflix account will be taken over by kids shows. Even though we created a 'Jace' profile just so we can keep his separate, it still does not keep it from coming over to our account and suggesting kid shows everywhere. What happened to the bad-ass Netflix suggestions because we watched things like 'Walking Dead' and 'Sons Of Anarchy'.. now the most bad-ass thing we have watched lately is 'Puss N' Boots'.. which I must say is not too bad to watch, and I occasionally catch myself watching even if Jace is asleep. Wow, I'm so lame.
11. The early bird gets the worm. You basically just have to become a morning person when you add babies to the mix. There is no fighting it. But, instead of waking up cranky and mopey, I have learned to appreciate what the morning brings. I love waking up and actually seeing the sun rise, and you can just get so much more done in one day. It does suck on the nights where I want to stay up really late and binge-watch Netflix shoes with Matt like we used to and I end up falling asleep before he even hits play. I'm sorry honey!
12. Are we going to the airport? Leaving the house is not simple anymore. Even after nearly a year of it, it always seems to be a challenge to have to get all of his essentials in order to leave the house. And even when I think I have gone through my mental Jace checklist, I almost always forget something. And when we go out of town for a night or two, it seriously looks like we are leaving for a two-week trip to Europe or something. It is absolutely exhausting trying to get out the door!
So, there ya have it. There are a million other things that change when introducing a baby in to the picture, but they are all so worth it. I would love to hear about some funny and interesting quirks that you adopted after you became a parent yourself, or even some similar to mine!
